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Thursday, November 1, 2007
I've actually been doing pretty well! At least in terms of eating. The exercise thing has been virtually non-existent. But I've started developing some awesome habits, and they appear to be sticking.
The most important, IMHO, is that I've been bringing my lunch 99% of the time. Since I totally burnt out on Lean Cuisines, I've been bringing either sandwiches or homemade soup from home, along with some veggies to eat as a side (usually leftovers from the night before or Steamfresh Singles) and a high protein afternoon snack (which I eat with a piece of fruit). The 1% of the time I've forgotten my lunch, I've come up with a new typical lunch to grab from the downstairs cafe...Turkey on whole wheat with veggies, and either a cup of soup (if they have a non-cream veggie soup) or a package of Baked Lays or a light yogurt. It's tasty, it's filling, it's REAL FOOD, and it's pretty much guilt free. I've also done well when I've done this by saving half of my sandwich for an afternoon snack.
I've also been less crabby about cooking, which is awesome. I think a huge help has been keeping my kitchen clean & organized. Nothing makes cooking seem more daunting than first having to slog through a sink full of crusty, dirty dishes, and having to wash the pot or cutting board you want to use. I've gotten super about making sure I clean up after dinner, hand wash what needs to be handwashed, loading & running the dishwasher if it needs it, and then unloading it in the morning while I'm boiling water for tea (or if I didn't run the dishwasher, then just putting away the hand-washed stuff).
Another major thing that is going on is that I am in the process of dumping the medications that helped me get fat and stay fat. I've already gone off birth control (don't speculate, there will be NO babies for a couple years, we're using non-hormonal bc) and under my doctor's encouragement, tapering off of Paxil. In fact, when I told him my concern about the effect Paxil has had on my weight, he told me it was pretty much inevitable that patients on Paxil will gain weight & have trouble losing it. I told him that right now weight loss is my top priority, and he was very encouraging and said going off the Paxil will help. A non-scientific survey I took of people who have already gone off of Paxil or other antidepressants associated with weight gain have said that it really does become easier to lose weight once it's out of your system, so that makes me feel encouraged. Not that I don't plan to put my all into food & exercise, though.
I am staying on Wellbutrin, which is one of the few antidepressants not associated with weight gain (it is more often associated with weight *loss*) and I am still taking Trazodone for sleep, at least until I am done with the Paxil withdrawal (of which insomnia is a side effect - and boy is it ever).
Paxil withdrawal has so far been a pretty crappy process, resulting in flu symptoms, migraines, and some pretty explosive mood swings. Lately I find myself getting REALLY angry at the most ridiculous things, but at least I can realize that I'm being irrational and not take it out on other people. But I can't wait until it's out of my system ... it should take another 4-6 weeks to taper down to 0 mg, and then probably a few more weeks for my body to have adjusted.
Hmmm, what else has been happening...oh...did I mention I am finally getting a sleep study done? It's n0t scheduled yet, I'm on the wait list, but my doctor referred me to the Pulmonary Medicine Dept to be screened for the possibility of sleep apnea, and they think it's likely the cause of my always being exhausted, so they put me on the wait list for a sleep study. While part of me is disgusted that I've gotten so fat that I've probably brought sleep apnea upon myself, I am eager to get treatment if that's the case so I can feel more rested, and, in turn, have more energy to take care of myself.
Hopefully I should be able to get the study done in December or early January.
I guess that's it for now ... I am sorry for my lack of updates ... I have been trying to focus more on action than reflection, because it's easy for me to discuss my weight loss thoughts ad nauseum while doing absolutely nothing in the real world. So, I'm trying to focus on action first, reflection later. I will try to post more steadily though, promise.Labels: journal
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