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Monday, September 10, 2007
Some new beginning, eh? I can't believe that I started over here & then stopped posting for over a month!
That's a prime example of my latest problem - I am having trouble committing. I don't know why either...my weight terrifies me. I have never felt so out of control or so unhappy with myself before in my life.
What is really just terrible is that it's not like I'm afraid I can't do it, or that losing weight won't work. I have not a shadow of a doubt in my mind that if I follow the WW plan, even if I only followed it 90% of the time, that I would consistently lose weight. I also don't think it's particularly hard, either! There are a few standard breakfasts & a few standard lunches that I rely on that I automatically know the points values for. Same with snacks. And then dinners are usually fairly easy as long as we don't get takeout or go out or order pizza.
My thought process, the one that happens when I binge or go off plan or get frustrated, is irrational. This is not hard. This is not iffy. This isn't even unpleasant. It's probably easier to eat according to my general WW guidelines than it is to wing it, because I have a general idea of what I'm going to eat so I don't have to do any guesswork or deal with indecision. I know that following it will result in consistent weight loss as well. And I enjoy eating well - it's tasty, my stomach feels better, and my energy levels feel better.
I consistently remind myself of the things I need to feel good in the long term, and yet I consistently ignore them after awhile.
1. Getting enough sleep
2. Doing things that are fun & relaxing
3. Eating well
4. Getting consistent exercise
I have to think about ways to track & quantify these goals. I am reaching the point of total desperation. I'm terrified about how hard it is for me to feel a solid commitment. I'm terrified at the thought of what's going to happen to me if I don't get my weight under control. I'm just terrified. I need all the encouragement & support I can get right now. Even tough love. I just need to stop being self destructive before it's too late.
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4 comments
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4 Comments:
look! stop yourself! this is EXACTLY how i was feeling before i made the changes to my life. i felt as if things were spiraling out of control....i was becoming one of those huge people that you wonder how they let that happen...i was letting it happen to me.
its not hard...you said that yourself, but you have to make the decision for yourself. no one can make it for you.
keep blogging. i know that without my blog, i would have given up long ago....there is a lot of support out there...and with it i have dropped 22 lbs so far. i have over 80 more to go, but i've made good headway. its possible. bc i haven't given up.
i hope you find the strength you need to go on...
Blessings....
You need to get a grip an get on with it. You can do it, millions of people all over the world have done it and so can you. You need to learn to be positive and to stop punishing yourself. We all make mistakes, hell we all binge from time to time but we are here admitting it, sometimes getting told off and other times to have a cry about why and it does help. You need to make small changes gradually so it comes easier rather than looking at your weight as a whole massive problem. Learn to be kind to yourself and read other peoples blog's, you will see your not the only one who has down moments but we are all here for you.
I have a mantra that I got from Our Lady of Weight Loss:
ALL IS FORGIVEN...MOVE ON.
Don't dwell on your failures. Don't dwell on how huge you are. Just see the number as a starting point, but don't beat yourself up. That only leads to depression and demotivation.
Think in terms of very short-term goals. VERY SHORT TERM. Not a huge number--that's daunting.
Just...Your goal for THIS WEEK. How much. One pound? Two? Find, make that your immediate goal. One to two pounds THIS WEEK.
Then, get a nice big piece of paper in a color you like and makes you feel good (if you have one in the house). Pink or pale yellow or minty green. Whatever. Now, using the font style you like best, in a HUGE FONT SIZE, write down your strategy for THIS WEEK.
Just three short term strategies that will get you to that short-term goal.
I recommend some of these:
I WILL DRINK TWO GLASSES OF WATER AS SOON AS I GET UP, and I WILL DRINK TWO GLASSES OF WATER BEFORE EVERY MEAL, until I"VE HAD AT LEAST EIGHT FOR THE DAY. I will not go to bed without drinking 64 ounces of water.
(Put 16 oz bottles of water by your bed and in your bathroom, so you remember. And wherever you sit most at home, like the living room. It will become a habit. I swear.)
2. I WILL EAT ____POINTS each day this week. And I will eat no more than _____ points this week. I will not skip meals/snacks. I will eat every single point that's coming to me and I will enjoy them.
3. I WILL MAKE A BIG POT OF ZERO POINT (or ONE POINT) SOUP AND HAVE IT IN THE FRIDGE TO EAT AT THE FIRST SIGN OF HUNGER BETWEEN MEALS. AND I WILL EAT A CUP BEFORE ANY MEAL WHERE I FEEL EXTRA HUNGRY.
4. I WILL MOVE FOR 10 MINUTES EVERY DAY THIS WEEK. JUST TEN MINUTES. ANYONE CAN DO THAT. EVEN ME. TEN MINUTES OF DANCING OR WALKING OR MARCHING IN PLACE WHILE WATCHING TV.
YOu get the idea.
Then sit down and plan out your meals for at least the upcoming day (or longer if you can). Just the next day's meals so you know how many points you'll eat.
Then go get someone to hug you or kiss you or tell you you can do it.
AND..we can do it. WE're all in the same boat. It's hard. You'll have setbacks. But just get up, dust off your knees and butt, and keep going.
TODAY, you start. TODAY, you put your face into the wind. AND..in one week you will be lighter and feel good that you followed through.
BTW, set up that print-out with your strategies where you will see them. The fridge door. The bathroom mirror. Tape it to the television. Whatever will be YOUR big "vision point."
Best of luck.
And it's hard. I have fallen down and gotten up several times just in the past month. But I'm not giving up. Just one day and one short-term goal at a time.
ALL IS FORGIVEN...MOVE ON.
The Princess Dieter (Mir)
OH, and I also struggle with depression. So, that's part of the lack of motivation. I know. When I have the blues, I don't even bathe. I don't brush my hair. I just sleep and eat. It sucks.
But I notice that when I do eat well and MOVE, I feel better, moodwise. I hate to exercise, and I'm totally a slug about it. Which just goes to show that depression can mess with your thinking and sense. :_P
Still, numerous studies show that just moving 30 minutes a day helps ease depression. And we need that.
So, along with you, let's vow to get moving ASAP!
Mir
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